Comfortably Dumb

Whoever said silence is golden, was right, if asked for my vote, i'll surely raise both my hands in his favour, in fact owing to my bihari roots, i'll just go and loot the booth! It is not that i'm dumb, but this is too far fetched that even while typing this article a few windows on my monitor popped up.

• Please pass this on to as many people as you can... There is a girl/ boy who is 10 (most preferably in single digit) who has been suffering from kokakolapeptic disease which has been found in 6 (preferably some integer number not divisible by 5) people in the whole universe/world (mind you, any domain less than world is a compromise). Yahoo/ Google/ Microsoft/ Intel/ Sun/ Mac/ IBM/ Lenovo/ Hewlett- Packard/ Casio/ Any other biggie has promised to track this mail, and have agreed to pay 3 cents per forward. And of course, the parents are poor. To avail the facility of Net, they have to be in some advanced country, and it seems that though the fifth of the world lives in China and sixth part of world resides in India, it is the rest half of the world's abode is America, so i never knew America too had such needy people (no taunts meant). To make it convincing, the add a cutee cutee picture of a small baby, so that your girlfriend can say awwww, it's so nice na! let's pass this message to RoW (rest of the world). To assure successes with those, who do not have girlfriend but are sentimental, there is also a punchline If you don't pass this message, you don't have heart!
• Poke Your nose: The emails can always be tracked. In fact it was used during the cold wars. But to track an email, the costs are so high that Yahoo!/ Microsoft/ Sun/ whatever would find it easier to finance the patient than pushing their valuable time in such things as tracking and all. Moreover, what has my heart got to do with the passing of email? Forwarding has just reduced the bandwidth for useful purposes, nothing else. How is it that Yahoo! agreed on such things? if it is, i'm the most needy of all, do let me know!
• Today is World Friendship/ lovers/ Hateship/ Relationship/ Best friends/ Brother/ Sister/ Master/ Slave/ Pet/ Husband/ Wife /Tutor/ Student/ Whatever day! Please pass this to as many peaople as you can, and by midnight, your true love will recognise how much they love you! if u ignore this message, you will have a spell of misfortune for next 10 years.
• Poke Your nose: This word today has been appearing on my window for an aeon now! i never knew that we have to remember the above on that particular date, or else won't they listen? moreover, my fortune teller told me that i'll be having a wonderful fate for my next 14 years during the Mahadasha of Saturn! I have been wondering from my childhood, how is it that all things in the world like some witch turning a prince into a frog, or vice versa, or, say the vampire coming to suck remaining blood of yours (after the prof/ boss had his/ her rightful share), or, this, that your true love will call at midnight! As if all of a sudden a bulb will glow in brain and then she/ he will recognise me Ohhh! I now realise your true love, as you have forwarded this message to 117 people in 15 seconds! What crap!!
• Enough of prose, there are some messages which are in form of poetry. I don't remember any, but i'll try my best to construct an example:

Sky is blue, stars are yellow,

My Love is so mellow

Send this to ten people in 5 seconds. If you get 3 then you are the most loved person! And don't forget to send it to me, i'm waiting...

• Poke Your nose: Keep waiting, i won't spam anyone, i'll certainly won't forget to send this to you 15 times!

• There are some devotional Spams as well, for god fearing Goody boys/ girls of the almighty fan club. It goes something like this:

This is one of the two actual photographs of Tirupati Balaji/
Siddhivinayak/ Amarnath/ Nathula pass/ Chhajju Kirana Store/ Whatever/ Whoever.
And this auspicious photo should not remain in your mail box for more than 2
minutes, please pass this on to as many people as you can, and something good
will happen to you tonight at 12:00.

If you pass this to

• 2-5 people: You will get an eclairs from god's own factory.
• 6-10 people: You will get a Bicycle.
• 11 or more: You will get a month's free ration.

• Poke Your nose: I'm a nonbeliever of almighty. As if apart from Yahoo!/ etcetra, god is also jobless these days that he, leaving all the jobs, is tracing this all impotant email! Seems like he also has business ties with Santa Claus Inc.

These days, my cellphone keeps ringing and i do not pick it up. most of the times, either my Network Provider tries to sell me it's new ringtone, or some BPO of it trying to sell me it's love poems/ wallpapers of gods/ actors/ naughty jokes/ serious jokes/ Bull**** / whatever.

It is a solemn request, please do not forward messages- it is the creator who always has a hearty laugh hogging in his chair, and the faint irritating gasp of someone at the recieving end- not to mention that it eats the useful bandwidth of your network!

Think, if you don't forward it you have no heart- what if you forward it? Then you have no Brain! Think about it friends, it causes irritation to people like me to see windows popping up every odd minute.

These lines echo in my ears: water water everywhere, not even a drop to drink...