10C, Miss Haldar and Aao Scandal

This happened in hindi class, in my 10th std.

It was Madam Haldar who used to teach hindi to us. She had a voice shrill like parrot and she was known good for her ability to apply flimsy dialogues in their most appropriate context.

It was in the section A that someone asked her permission before entering her class and she said "aao". Soon enough, the guys caught the funny part of AAO and started reciting it like people do in Poojas, reciting the names 108 times. This new mantra percolated in our section of 10 C.There was this guy Pankaj, who after having a good experience of std 7th for three years had joined us and decided to stick with us till matriculation. He decided to take this uranium and convert it into nuke....

That eventful day, just after short break was madam's class, and Pankaj and his gang planned the whole logistics of the war. The chalked AAO everywhere, the teachers desk, the chair, the blackboard, all the front benches and filled wherever they could find the blanks with due sincerity. I, as usual was a mute witness to this drama, and was imagining what was going to come, and suddenly pankaj came to me. "tu yeh madam ko dikhayega. Agar nahin dikhaya to dekh lena chhutti mein!". It was a predicament before me. If i speak up, then it was me who was going to be in soup, and if i do not, then i was in deep water, and i had to think of something in less than 5 minutes. As the madam came, everyone stood up. The words "chhutti mein dekh lena" were echoing inside me... Just then i blurted out "Madam, do you have a duster, so that i may clean the board, in case if u want to write down the title..." the words were dying as "Miss" Haldar began turning towards the board, and the 57 pairs of eyes were twinkling in an anticipation of what was going to come...

Pankaj and his henchmen were sitting in some cool corner of 10C while haldar was shouting at the top of her voice, and when she saw that her threats were falling on deaf ears, she decided to take a harsh step. "Miss" Haldar called the then vice principal Fr. T M Joseph, whose office was next to our class. He followed Miss Haldar to help the damsel in distress. She told him “Dekhiye father kya likha hai!” Then she remembered that father TM could not read hindi, so she completed her own sentence “Aao, aur jane kya kya!” She did not want a roaring laughter to spoil the sympathetic attention that she had obtained from TM.

I don’t know if TM could understand the whole issue or not, but he croaked with a nasal twang (like a singer whose name sounds like mine) “Sooon heen ins the onnne!” I was feeling like Neo! And madame said “No sir! He helped me out, he is a good boy!!” Yes! I was saved. TM continued “If you people won’t tell, then you all will be suspended” Still no one budged. Who would have wanted to study when there was such a lucrative offer! So madam said in a final tone- “It’s over 10 C. You people have broken my heart!!” Tumne mere dil pe zakhm diye hain 10C, tumse ye ummeed nahin thi! to be accurate enough.

We all went out, with a great smile on our faces, thanking pankaj that he saved the day, atleast for handball, basky or TT.

In the later half, 8^th period, madam called us in the class. No one was interested to hear anything emotional, and seeing this, madam asked “By the way 10C, what is Damdami Maai?” Damdami Maai kya hota hai? One guy stood up and said “Miss, Chandrakanta mein jo Kalpana Iyer bani thi!!” the whole class burst out laughing, imagining the make up of Kalpana Iyer, with tonnes of Kajal laden eyes, weird colors smeared on the face and masculine voice shouting some mumbo jumbo! Just then pankaj stood shouting “arre jhooth mat bol, miss woh raja film mein madhuri jo bani thi na, wohi hai!!” Stop lying you! There was this role Madhuri did in Raja, this is what we tried to look into you! Whatever it was, damdami maai was a witch doctor, in both of these movies, and it was fun watching madam’s grim face!

Just then the bell rang and all the guys sang thaaaank youuuuu meeeees and ran away, except for me and gaurav. Gaurav used this opportunity to consolidate his position (or may be that he empathized with madam, I don’t know), and gave her a torn piece of paper in which he had written an apology on behalf of the whole 10C and I moved slowly, watching Haldar madam correcting that apology letter “Ufff! Badi ee ki jagah chhoti ee honi chahiye…. Yeh hua hraswa oo…”