Wednesday, May 02, 2007

To Boldy go, Where No One has Gone Before

Earth calling spaceship, earth calling spaceship, come in spaceship, come in!
yes earth, Commanding officer of the ship calling earth...
Is everything all right, Officer?
Yes base, everything's going fine. We are now at some 52, 310 km distance from you in the direction.And the journey till now has been as easy as tossing the coin..... Wait! Why did not the coin touch the ground!! Ha! The distance is falling rapidly- I repeat, base- the distance is falling rapidly.... We are now 45, 375 kms from you base, get some help! Labor's day, labor's day!! We are falling under gravity!!! help!!!
Woo hoo! have fun!!
We need back up, this is an emergency....
errr... sorry, the back up ppl are on holiday, Sir!
Then gimme the puppy power, will you?
The puppies took the ships to menzoberranzan... and you'd ve happy to know that and they're having a good time with the dark elves and their pet panthers...
send some polar bears then (argh!)
They are busy protesting against some climatologists, they seem to like the new swimming pool which has appeared near north pole...
Then send some IITians damn it!
They have a lifetime supply of movies, they won't budge~
We are just foot away from earth- help!!!
erm... that must be Zoria, the planet of Argot planet system...
I want to die! Aw Gawd!! I want to die....
It's easy to get confused between....
You mean am i that fool to confuse between this torture and death?!
naahh... you're more silly than just that
We had taken a dog with us in this spaceship, and he seems to be bouncing around and stomping us....
How cruel... where's his seat belt?
He chewed it!
He certainly would, you shouldn't have made it out of your beau's skin, captain...
It is not that he is stomping us, while stomping he never forgets to- urghhhh... stop licking me, you overexcited beast! Get off! shooh- and our seatbelts are stuck... this irritating piece of junk doesn't open up! and this ass keeps on popping up every two minutes- get away you fat animal from the camera!
hmmm.... creatures of order higher than humans were not allowed to be taken with. Who asked you to take the dog along with?
We took it as our guide to galaxy.... Ak-chhoo!! It is shoving it's tail in my nose now! You sonovabitch!
Excuse me Sir! You can not talk like that befor....
A dog is a son of a bitch, any doubts, officer?
Yessir! And the improbability drive installed on the ship? guides very well....
Off you idiot! The drive is corrupt with some virus..... It says you are on earth, in some Mariana like trench...
It's corrupted. Don't believe it.
Definitely! It shows some unbelieveable distance from base and says- Whoa! That animal was a Shark! We ARE in a trench!!
Enjoy the view then...
(i'm glad that the ejecting system of the seat too failed!)
... after all, it's not everyday that its not everyday that one gets stuck in a beautiful place as such. We'll contact the authorities in zoria. You'll be out of that place in a month's time... Till then, have a nice time...
Gawd No! Stop IT! I'm in some trench of earth! Find me!! Tell me- do sharks eat tail wagging face licking idiots?
You can try feeding him. But seeing your predicament (faulty seat belts)... you ought to be more nervous than the dog.
That dog has been joyously souting at the sharks and they too are enjoying it! This fat junk thinks they are his type!
The dog might be having conversation in Zorian language.The dog is yelping some unhummable number.
I believe they are singing....
More like southy songs... Yeah! The dog and the 12 sharks encircling my ship....
Yay! You are getting the traditional Zorian welcome dance. They seem to like you!
Yeah, and where will i be after 24 hours of finishing of this great ritual? In the septic tanks of sharks, if they have it.
Well... You see, the creatures there are far more efficient in utilizing food, so you'll not be wasted
I wish the sharks come and take away this beast so that they may sing and dance in unison. He'd be a nice meal to them.
Shh... Don’t let them hear your plans. They like to do the opposite of what one plans.
Dog is busy sniffing every long standing thing and spraying his “scent” on it.
Look on the sunny side… he's not licking your face any more.
There's no sun. Only some faint light of some fish
Okay let’s call that fish Fludge. Fludge is showing you the light.
Call it some stupid fish which is dumb enough to sing with them.
More like he's putting a spotlight on you so the sharks get a better view. Isn't he a generous little chap?
Yeah, the generous fellow sounds more like a rhino mixed with a duck.
As they say... Beauty is in the eye of the beholder... I'm sure, Mrs. Fludge thinks he sounds quite good.
They did not say about blind people.
In fact... There are reports of Mr. Fludge taking part in underworld idols…
And quite oblivious to his beauty, more and more creatures are joining the chorus and ouch~ they are banging the hull now!!
They're background singers… no no...! They're just playing the drums!
This retarded dog things they are eager to meet him. Shut up! Get someone to help us out of this! The hull is about to breach and I'm stuck in this mess.
Is that okay if I ask tomorrow?
Why? Is today some strike?
It’s after office hours now…

And what are you doing, may i ask, after the office hours?

I was doodling…
Gawd! This is nuts! Pull us out, the oxygen's getting thin here!! I'm your commander u dumb man!
Why?! Stay there
I do not remain an active service WOMAN after 5. I will sue you for stopping me from doodling.
Go ahead and sue me! At least i'll be alive to kick u after that
And well... After having been tormented like this, i have to take tomorrow off. I'm sorry but there's no one else to take your message, sir…! And since I'm already planning on taking Friday as holiday……
..... I’ll Suspend... Gulp blub. Save my dog! He cost me 5 000 bucks!
Sir! You'll definitely have someone there by Monday…
Gulb bulb .............
(water entered, everyone's being merrily eaten by sharks and other sea animals still singing the song)
Ooh... That sounded interesting... Bubble talk! Sir!!!
Hello Spaceship, come in! Are you dead, Sir~ Sir?
Hi Chief... Captain Tango Foxtrot reporting Sir! Having a nice time at the golf game? Uh huh... yeah, i was just hanging around in the office feeding the fish, they seemed to like the meal... I was just about to wind up the loose ends of the day. Oh yeah, and Commander of the spaceship- whatshisname- called, and i think your project of The Space Mission is a grand success- he was speechless~! Yes sir, I can feel your joy even on this channel! Yes Sir, I informed the press about it- they are rather bored these days! Oh, and I just added in the details about the virus infected system onboard, insufficient fuel and oxygen... That would make a complete- readable- scoop! Have a nice day, Sir!!

This story and the last one "Of God, Hod and Donkey" was not written solely by me, but they evolved in a chat with my friend, Samira :) Thanx to her.