The Movie Show in Patna

I still remember that day when i had gone to Patna, my hometown, to meet my parents. It was then Farhan Akhtar's Don was released and I had planned to give it a try as a timepass. After reaching the institute where mom worked, i realised it was too early to accompany her back to home, as it was just quarter to three post meridian. So i was wondering what to do, when it struck me that if i somehow managed a rickshaw, i could go to a nearby hall to watch the movie, which looked promising, and anyways, mom could go back by herself if i was late enough. Having explained this to my conscience, i got a rickshaw and reached there.

Veena movie theatre is a busy area, a hub of all second-hand-book-lover's paradise, movie fanatics like me and the rest of the disorder was caused by the autorickshaws who were maneuvering around to trap more passengers from the exodus of the show which was just over.

Today was the first day of Don and it seemed to be going houseful with very big crowd in front of the gate. It is unnatural for the people here to be disciplined enough to form a queue (and respect the one which is formed), but this crowd was way too big. Almost when i paid the rickshaw, i turned to see the crowd move away and a person emerging from it, badly bruised. As soon as he emerged, he started shouting "10 wala 40 mein" (meaning tickets worth 10 in 40 now). He was peddling the tickets at a higher rate, he was a blackey. I reached him, out of sheer sympathy that he had to do this thing even after being severely beaten by the crowd.

After some 5 minutes of aggressive bargaining, he sold me the tickets in 20 only. I was happy to buy the tickets at a price double the actual. I read once
"The glass is half empty, it could be said that it is half full too."
"Two people look out of window, one sees the mud, the other sees the stars"
Combining these two sentences, i was prilog-ically happy that i got the tickets at half the price, who cared if it was actually double the price.

As soon as i started scrutinising the tickets, i could see that beaten shadow move away from me as if he was slipping by. I smelled something fishy in his behaviour, stopped my scrutiny and shouted "oye ruk!" and he started running away from me. I lunged after him and so did the crowd which had again gathered to bash him up.

Left to the crowd to bash him up, i was again scrutinising the whole thing again, and found that the date was wrong, 26th it was. I was happy to see him thrashed for his misdeed, my heart felt pure and pious now. I asked someone standing beside me the date, and he said 26th.

As if i was thrown back to the ground from the air, i felt pain and pity for the poor soul who was being bashed.

To nihilate that emotion, i silently entered into the hall to watch Don.

The Story of Inventions: part 3 of n: The Invention of Jewellery

Fantasy till now:
Ramu was in a dilemma, one was external- the rival tribes were always perpetrating his people, killing the female population as they were vulnerable and easily lured into an ambush, and his strategy fell flat on ground. The other problem was internal. It was something related to human nature of satan worshipping...

Idle brain is a devil's symposium, wise men said in the tribe, and ramu believed it. The way the women were jealous and kept on trying to slander each other to get his favour irritated him. He wanted to come home and relax after running before cattle everyday. And what he got was complaints that how someone wanted to split the milk which someone kept for him, and this definitely pointed that someone wanted to slander the impression. Ramu was almost program to get alarmed by the sign of danger and get started in the fighting mode. But the other party did not want him to take actions, instead, she expected him to sit and listen to her, which in his dictionary, was, at best, boring, if said politely.

Ramu noticed that he did not get the daily dose with the dinner when he came back, he noticed that the girl was too busy playing with the "medal". He called her Mau, and his Mau was busy looking at the "necklace" which he gave her yesternight.

For a man who was a free boy years ago, when he used to jump on elephants and play with other primates, thinking that they were kids of his kind, it was suddenly a vacuum. Ramu did not get his food, the deer was barbecued today, and it was to be served with honey, but Mau was in some other world.

Looking at the opportunity, he was served by Kau, the female humanoid, who had a brush with Mau yesterday. Kau in a complaining tone said Mau has been busy all day showing it to us, and madam hence excused herself for not doing any chore. I pitied that your son was playing in the afternoon sun, so i made him sleep, though he wanted to jump with your canine.

It was followed by more of some redundant issues like motherhood, mother-in-law's-hood, and neighbourhood, which sounded silly, because it was something else going in Ramu's mind. If Mau could be busy with the "thing" all day, so could be all of the ladies. now that he knew the source of such stones, so he had some special knowledge which he could use that to his own benefit.

Ramu then almost made it his rule that whenever he was pleased with some female animal, he would give her an ore to ornate herself, while the same ore was melted and used by his gang to counter the invading tribes. The days were passing by and Ramu was happily living. The only problem was for his neighbours and other males who did not have that "thing". They were having a tough time explaining their wives and partners that they really did not know about what "thing" was it.

The bolt struck Ramu when someone found a small nugget which shone brilliantly and it was more yellow and had a peculiar lustre, and now he was left with demanding wives who were busy comparing their weighty ores with that small nugget. The weapon which he tried to use for his peace turned out to be a hornet's nest which he had stirred.

Ramu could foresee the future: The women then, as opposed to their vocal tendency, decided to call that thing as ornament. With this word the world progressed into an age which had weapons of mass distraction, which could first attract some of the earthlings and then, those some earthlings could kill their partners for it, just like orkut.

Story of Inventions: Part 2 of n: The invention of Metal Weapons

Ramu, the Ramapithican beast had built a slinger for his little boy, who was busy shooting birds and squirrels with it.

This had given Ramu to think how to tackle the wifey animal which had suddenly come into existence. It was a warrior tribe of his- they were nomadic people, as they did not know that land had some better use of cultivation. In that era, stone arms were the panache, and they were in demand, and there was no country which could sell such weapons of mass destruction, it was all about the tribe. Ramu being the head of the tribe had all the worries of the world, as the rival tribes had been following his tribe for over a month now. Last time they fought, his tribe had to incur heavy losses of men and women's lives and cattle etcetera.

It wasn't this always, these primordial men were fighting and they had a good fight to their heart's content, and then, females of the tribe thought highly of those battles, so they too, out of sheer curiosity decided to join their comerades in the skirmishes to have a sense of contentment.

However, there was a blunder in this as Ramu noticed that more women got killed and injured in this battle of resources. It was Ramu's concern because if the women were hurt, his tribe would soon vanish. Though they barbecued the boar perfectly and that they reared the child wonderfully, apart from boosting the morales of the soldiers but they were weak in physical strength.

Moreso, there was another weakness of theirs, they talked a lot, and they could not continue with this silent gory business, and started chatting about the family and other worldly matters with their rival counterparts during the encounter, and then the males of the opposite army would hunt them down. It was a ploy to divert them, and they were succeeding at it. Ramu wondered if he could stop this chain. He tried to use women as an added force and now they were proving to be a bad strategy, as they did not enjoy fighting much, whatever be their level of attraction to glory and fame it brought. They simply did not gel into the picture.

It was a novel solution which once struck him while loitering in the meadows. It was a leisure hour and the cattle were grazing nearby, so Ramu had lots of time to kill. While roaming, he somehow came across a stone which had some stripes- colourful stripes across it. Ramu had never seen any such object in his life. So he took it and kept it with him. He showed it to one of the females of his group, who had taken his shelter as he was the ruler, and she was the most loved by him. After seeing that stone, she wished to keep it, and Ramu as usual gifted it to her. She was happy and kept it with her always.

This new and small discovery made waves in the tribe, as the maid went around showing this unique thing to her other friends who did not own this token of love of Ramu. This made other ladies of the group a bit green. It was not the stone or the love, it was the ego which pinched. One day, after the boar hunt, Ramu ordered some water and this lady went inside, keeping the stone nearby. One of the ladies saw her chance and slipped the stone to some crack of a nearby tree. The stone was lost. In the night, during the barbecue, the thief threw the stone into the fire, and the maid saw her do it, but it was too late! She gasped and flung a stone at her! And that's how started a cat fight. As there was no one at that moment, so it was a secret between these two.

Next day, both of the faces bore the bites and nail marks of fight and the scars told a lot, though they both met the others with a great sunny smile. In the ashes later that day, the girl found something which was as hard as rocks, and it shone the sun like a fireball, as if the sun had concentrated itself in the Red-yellow stone-like object. She showed it to Ramu.

Ramu at once understood the use of it- he now had the metal which was harder than the rocks, it was workable, and could be sharpened later on, and it did not yield easily. He would soon have a war with the rival tribe and make them run for their lives, avenging his recent defeat.

As for the girl, Ramu gave her another stone which she gladly hung around her neck to show off as a medal which she had earned....

(to be continued)

Story of Inventions: Part 1 of n: The invention of telephone

I have this old habit of daydreaming that whenever i read something, i wonder what would it be, if the things were like this, or whenever i am reading history, then i tend to visualise what would have happened, how someone would have delivered the dialogue and the response he would have got.

Graham Bell was busy in some experiment regarding sound transmission using electrical wires. He was going to be a great scientist in the future [which of course he did not know] and he had to live upto the mark of developing something path breaking. Suddenly, he heard a crackle from a distant loudspeaker which made him believe he had developed the machine to transfer noise [sound] to some other place. Graham: Hey you! What's your name- Ramu [let's call his assistant Ramu]! Come here and speak something in the microphone! Voila!! I Did it!!!
Ramu: Did what sir?
Graham: I just invented the machine which would change the world in future. It would make the place into the annals, and it would be succeeded by Mobiles. By mass manufacturing this, Someone in India would coin the sentence "Kar lo duniya mutthi mein". Now don't waste the time, and speak into the microphone, when i tell you to do so. (Ramu speaks and is a bit confused)
Graham Bell: Voila! It works, eureka!! I did it, It's wonder...
Ramu: Sir, i have a doubt. Since i was standing so near to you, that's why you could tell me to pick up the phone and speak into it....
Graham: So, what's so complicated in it, Ramu that you could not fathom. Pray, continue.
Ramu: Sir, as i was standing near to it, and i could hear you, you could convey the message directly by speaking, and if i were far off, then i could not hear you in the first place to pick up the receiver. Sir, this machine is useless in that case!
(Graham the Great thinks and racks his brain)
Graham: Okay Ramu, I believe i can make use of my surname and add a bell to the telephone so that it would ring and it would attract attention that someone would like to hear your voice. Brilliant! Fantastic!! Ain't I great!
Ramu: Sir, pray if someone didn't hear the bell? I don't think this machine will ever click in the market!
Graham: In future, there would be computers in every home, and they would have Orkut, which would be a thing to scrap people. When my machine would be there, what is the need to write a scrap to people, only to get a reply after half an hour! If it were Yahoo! Messenger, it would have been realtime, or the Google mail, then it would be an e- mail all right! But you see, the scraps were completely not needed. But you would see how the world would invent the use of Orkut, and make it so popular that 55 million people would join it's network. Henceforth naive Ramu, I leave the world to find a good use to this machine, which would become giant in the coming decades.

Dedicated to Kau: part 3 of 3: The Conclusion

After 17 minutes of ugly laughing, Ramu was glad to find Kau online...

12:17 AM me: tu gaya nahin sone?

12:18 AM ek baat soojhi hai

kau: suna ke jana tha na

SUNA DIYA

me: kya sunaya bata

forward kar

kau: RUK,,

12:20 AM waise yeh OFICE KA KAUN SA SUBMISSION kal hai?
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:00:14 AM): PRESENTATION DRWG
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:00:42 AM): and u went aware that he submission was tomorrow?
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:01:37 AM): weren't
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:04:03 AM): NOT REALLY
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:04:28 AM): GOT TTHE WRK TODAY
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:04:33 AM): NOT REALLLY?..thst vague..
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:04:40 AM): u either knew it or u dint
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:04:45 AM): oooooooo
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:05:44 AM): khair...11th hr work to college mein chalta hai, yahan OFFICE MEIN BHI HOTA HAI,..bhagwan rakhsa kare,,,
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:08:02 AM): Khair, tum kaam karo...haan,ek suggestion, agar kisi aur din KABHI eise DITCH MARNA hoo (kisi ko bhi..) to KINDLY OFFICE phone se ya phone booth se atleast ek call kar dena. ..RS 1 mein ho jaega.max RS 2
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:08:26 AM): K
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:08:34 AM): BYEEEEEEEE (orgasm unlimited)

me: sun, idea hai mera

agar koi na mile to ticket black kar diyo

peace rahega

12:21 AM kau: abbe dekha ke nahi

me: padhne de

kau: aare ticket ka load nahi

me: to fir koi load nahin!

peace maar aur so ja

kau: KRITI nahi to SHONA aa hi jayegi

me: aaj ka din bada bura beeta hai tera

badhiya hai

shona ko le jana

kau: padh liya?

12:22 AM me: nahin baap!

kau: kini slow speed se apdta hai tu bhi

me: tera msg aa jata hai

aur screen scroll ho jati hai

ruk type karna band kar!

12:23 AM arre baap re baaap!!!

tune to crack maar liya be!

bandi ko sure bura lagega

kau: aabe seriously bata

12:24 AM sahi SARCASM ka doze tha na

me: haan

kau: ki zyada ho gaya?

me: lekin usne yeh theek nahin kiya, poochh kya?

kau: kya?

me: usne tujhe sorry bhi nahin kaha!

how come??

this was not expected

12:25 AM kau: AARE..sorry bahut baar boli..

ruk

me: to tune apni bahaduri wala part kaat ke bheja tha kya?

uski sorry wala bhi bhej

12:26 AM kau: dabba bandi (6/1/2007 10:59:52 PM): hey
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 10:59:55 PM): how r u?
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:00 PM): hey..
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:20 PM): am fine. so,, whats up?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:32 PM): nothg
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:34 PM): wrking
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:35 PM): hey
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:41 PM): prob cnt mak it tomorrow
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:52 PM): shittttttttttt (for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:58 PM): seriously?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:01:07 PM): have a submission tomorrow for my new office
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:01:10 PM): yeahhhhhhhh (for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:01:18 PM): iam trying to complete within mrng
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:01:20 PM): and u dint inform me earlier yaar
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:01:43 PM): hmm...what can i say..
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:05 PM): well, ok..u concentrate on that then..
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:16 PM): sorry
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:22 PM): dint u know abt this earlier?..or a sudden dealine?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:22 PM): cm bk home at 10 pm
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:27 PM): from office
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:31 PM): sudden deadline
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:36 PM): oooohh (for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:42 PM): got this freelance job today mrng
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:51 PM): my outgoing s also barred
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:55 PM): CONGRATULATIONS for that
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:03:20 PM): hmm..its ok...guess, i have to try and sell the other ticket then
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:03:37 PM): am sorry
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:03:39 PM): really
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:03:47 PM): will be making dfor it soon
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:03:58 PM): dfor?
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:04:13 PM): whhts that?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:06:21 PM): for it
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:08:47 PM): hey, its ok..its just that i got to know now na, otherwise if it wr in the evening today i cud have asked my frnds to change any plans they had
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:09:52 PM): SORRY
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:09:54 PM): REALLY
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:10:07 PM): no issues yaar..
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:10:16 PM): u r thesis is more important
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:10:38 PM): guess, u must b hard pressed 4 time rite now
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:11:01 PM): u go ahead,,will catch up with u when u r thru the submission
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:11:04 PM): little bit
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:11:12 PM): trying to earn also amidst this
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:13:04 PM): thats indeed a worthwhile thing to do..honestly, how u mange the TUTIONS, the tHESIS, nad now the office, i am hard pressed to imagine
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:13:29 PM): and yes..NOT TO FORGET ur 32 yr wala BEAU, amidst all this
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:13:31 PM): earning
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:13:34 PM):
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:13:37 PM): ufffffffffffffffffffff (again, for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:14:09 PM): ha ha ha ...c , atleast now u know am not angry or nething
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:14:22 PM): but yes..DAMN HEART BROKEN...ab kya kahen..
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:14:41 PM):
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:15:07 PM): well, u will have to pay back with interest my frnd for this
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:15:35 PM): is baar to sirf EK movie fir chutti ka plan kiya tha...
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:16:12 PM): ab INTEREST ke taur par bakayda ..jis weekend free hogi tab milna hoga
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:16:41 PM): DEKHA bachhu..IIT ians never make a LOOSING DEAL
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:17:11 PM): HAAR mein bhi JEET nikal hi latein hain
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:17:24 PM): K
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:56:09 PM): STILL SIFTING thru OR FOUND THE RELEVANT INFO?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:56:28 PM): DESIGNING
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:59:13 PM): aah..wasnt that done..guess, after ditching me, u have ample time tomorrow to finsh it off

after 6 minutes

12:32 AM me: sale tune next date ka plan banaya hai, aur hamare samne rona ro raha hai

sale tu bandi ke samne hero banna kyun shuru kar deta hai?

12:33 AM kau: pata nahi yaar

me: kya pata nahin!

kau: aabe main mauke ka fayda uthana bhi chah raha tha aur gussa bhi aa raha tha

12:34 AM salle ...TUNE MUJHE CHARA DIYA

TO FULTO GUSSA AA GAYA

AUR ZYADA HI SARCASTIC HO GAYA

me: haan be, tu hi to ek hoshiyar hai

kau: AUR TU TO JANTA HAI....AM THE SARCASM GOD

me: fayda utha rahe the!!

ab tere sarcasm ke karan woh kabhi nahin jayegi tere saath

12:35 AM tere date ke mansoobe dhool mein lot rahe hain

jaise sawan mein gadha loTta hai

abe tu future date ko leke serious hai kya?

kau: AABE USKE SATH MERA KOI FUTURE HI NAHI TO KYA SOCHNA

12:36 AM me: sale abhi to tune date ki baat ki

woh kya tha fir?

kau: WAISE BHI 1-2 MAHINE MAIN JOB SHIFT MARNA HAI

me: IITIAN wala dialogue?

kau: SO..IN SAB MEIN JANA NOT FEASIBLE NOW

SAB SUNANE KE LIYE

MAINE KAHA NA

MAINE USE SUNA DIYA

12:37 AM jaan boojh ke kaha tha

me: tune agar future mein Date ka socha hai to bhool ja

aur agar sunana chahta tha to future date ka mention bhi nahin karna tha

kau: NAHIN..I DON'T AGREE WITH U ON THIS

MY TACTICS R BIT DIFFERENT

me: different but they have loop hole

12:38 AM bandi ko hansne ka thoda time mil gaya

kau: NAAAH

TU GALAT CONCLUSION NIKAL RAHA HAI

12:39 AM TRUST ME..I WAS BAD ONE DAY...JUST ONE DAY..donnt draw ur conclusions based on that..I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

me: theek hai

dekhte hian kal

kau: neways..good suggestions u gave

me: agar bandi maan gayi jane ke liye to hum tujhe maan jayenge

kau: liked ur perspective as well

me: thnx! be

12:40 AM kau: CHALO..ABB NEED ACHI AAYEGI

DIL HALKA HO GAYA:)

me: haan be

neend mast aayegi

kau: chal..gudnite ..dear

me: sweet dreams

guud nite

kau: :)

me: sleep tight

me: don't let the bugs bite

12:41 AM

kau: ooooooooohhhh k

me: chal all the best!

Dedicated to Kau: Part 2 of 3: Ek Chhoti si Love Story

Ramu had a best enemy [like the highest order animals have best pals] known as Kau. He was a mean machine, but he also had a golden heart, it depended solely on his mood if he was in a golden mood or not...

Ramu wanted to get exported to America, like other animals of his IITian breed. One way was to deport himself in the cage of smuggled baboons, while the other way out was via giving a moronic exam which promised to satisfy the various GREeds of knowledge, money, position, power and fortune of most "aliens" [this is what international highest order biped animals are termed in the United States]. Ramu being an underpriviledged malnutritioned animal did not have a credit card to pay the sum the GRE people demanded. Kau readily accepted to pay the sum and it was the time when Ramu wanted to pay back what he borrowed from Kau. They were to meet at some place in Kolkata, let's call that place Witty Center. Kau was in a bad mood, as usual. From 5:20 in the evening, he started calling Ramu every 5 minutes, snarling that why in the world was he late, as he had to reach Witty Center by 6:30, and Kau will have to miss the bus to his home, he feared. Ramu was seriously agitated, but he could not lock horns with Kau, as he was travelling towards the venue with the Bandi. Keeping his boiling lava inside him, he pacified Kau. However, on reaching the pre- decided spot, Kau was nowhere to be seen.
Ramu on phone 6:30 PM: "Kahan hai tu?"
Kau on Phone: "Office mein, gimme 5 minutes, will be there"
Ramu never knew if 360 seconds made a minute or something like that. Kau appeared at the spot after what seemed like an aeon.
Kau looked in his Best, with a skin tight XXL T- Shirt clinging to his geodesic potbelly, and hair nicely done, he donned the look of a perfect gentleman. Ramu was surprised at the new look of his best enemy.
Kau took both Ramu and Bandi [he could not leave Ramu behind, at least this is what etiquettes said] and treated them with coffees of their choice, the bill solely paid by Kau. In his golden mood, Kau was likable (at least, you should like the person who pays the bill for your costly coffee treat!). Kau was trying to impress the girl with his etiquettes, while Ramu was busy relishing his share (and Kau's share) of cold coffee. Kau was pleading "I'm so ssssssorry, it's because of him that i did not get the time to ggggroom myself.... i hope u don't mind my look. Gimme one more chance and i can present myself in my best. Please don't mmmmind"
This sentence was repeated in many different ways and said in many different human languages. Ramu was looking out of the bus window now as he had no interest in the gossip the grown ups do. Girl was busy filling in the Survey like questions of Kau, and Kau's curiosity kept him popping more doubts, and the bus was stuffy, and Ramu was happy that his money was not wasted on a waste like coffee [which he enjoys on others' cost].

The girl wanted to go to some friend's home, and Kau was eager to drop her their, despite of him getting late for his abode. The girl, however, parted and so did Ramu, leaving Kau in a cool emotional surge...

Ramu later learned that Kau and the lady were planning to go to the movie The Pirates of Caribbean. It was a night before the d'day that a chat took place between the two.

11:31 PM kau: sala

!@#$

me: kya hua?

kau: kahan hai

11:32 PM me: kahe ro raha hai

kau: aabe yeh teri bandi..kya SERIOUSLY dabba HAI?

me: kya hua?

kya kia tum dono ne?

be right back

11:33 PM ab rona shuru kar wapas. am back

11:34 PM kau: kya hua...sun..gajab dhakkan bandi hai..aare, movie ke liye khud 3 din pehel haan boli thi jab poocha to...ticket kharidne ke liye boli advance, with MADAM ji ka prefered timing..aur kal raat tak haan haan hami bharti rahi..

and GUESS WHAT..

11:35 PM aaj morning ko call kiya to uthayi nahi

abhi 5 MIN pehele yahoo mein bolti hai..ki kal koi SUBMISSSION hai uske office mein it seems

so cannt come

WHAT THE HECK YAAR...

11:36 PM PIRATES ka ticket i had to book thru credit card..

me: :(

ohhh

kau: 220 bucks

pani mein

me: she is so unprofessional

this is bad

kau: i even ditched KRITI

AND GUESS WHAT

me: kya?

11:37 PM abe kriti ko le jana fir

kau: KRITI WAS THE ONE ON WHOSE CREDIT CARD I BOOKED IT, ..i was supposed to go with him for PIRATES COZ HE HAD ASKED ME WAY EARLIER

me: kal pakad le

kau: I CHANGED MY PLANS ON WEDNESDAY coz of your Bandi

and now, this..

me: ohhhhh, yeh to kela ho gaya tera

11:38 PM kau: aare.KRITI ke apne plans nahi kya..just think how cheap i wud appear to KRITI if i asked him now

me: this is bad yaar

saturday ko kahin submission hota hai bhala

kau: and GUESS WHAT

KRITI was so generous engh..he gave me his CREDIT CARD (coz the card has to b shown at the counter 4 confirmation..)

11:39 PM SERIOUSLY..this is way way unprofessional

me: tch tch tch

usse baat kar

kau: AND WAY TOO CHILDISH

me: phone pe

hana yaar, yeh childish thode hi hai

it is bad

kau: AGR submission HAI TO SHE MUST HAVE KNOIWN IT EARLIER NA

me: tu usse baat kar ke bol clearly ki aisa nahin karna chahiye tha

11:40 PM agar nahin jana tha to pahle bol deti

kau: forgrt it...

me: u had to bow before kriti for his credit card

kau: I CALLED up her in the evening she hadnt picked it up

atleast she shud have had the courtesy to call back

me: haan yaar

kau: she ssays ..her BALANCE wasnt there

me: tujhe load hua hai, main samajh sakta hoon

11:41 PM kau: AND GUESS WHAT

she has a POST PAID na?

me: landline to hai hi uske paas

kau: AABE..load nahi..i feel humiliated

me: haan main samajh sakta hoon

kau: NOT ONLY BECOZ OF HER..BUT BECOZ i now have to ask some collegue or kriti TO COME ALONG

neways...

11:42 PM me: bandi ko bolna ki tujhe kitni sharmindgi jhelni padi

kau: ACHA..DONNT MENTION A WORD OF THIS RETORT OF MINE TO HER

me: nahin re

kyun bolunga

kau: IF SHE HAS SENSE..she will call up

me: haan

she should call u up

kau: YAHOO pe rto lecture de rahi thi ki..SHE WILL make up or something

dekhte hain

me: shud i ask her to call u up?

11:43 PM make up matlab?> make up kar ke aayegi?

kau: aare..CHODO.infact, i rather played the whole issue down..as if her not comming wasnt of much consequence

that shud suit her

guess, she values her importance way too much or something

whatever

me: arre usko yeh to bola hota ki uske karan tujhe kitna zaleel hona pada

11:44 PM kau: HAAN WO TO BOL HI DIYA

me: kahan bola tune?

kau: aur agar call kari..ya agle baar phone pe baat hua to AIS ASUNAOONGA

me: tune to yeh show kiya ki tujhe fark nahin pada

kau: bola..ki SHE SHUD HAVE INFORMED ME BY EVENING..

AT LEAST WHEN I CALLED HER UP

11:45 PM me: kau

tu usse badla le

usse ticket khareedwa

aur mat ja

kau: CHODENGE TO NAHI

me: ekdum tit for tat badla hai

yes

kau: jo bhi ho...SUNA KE TO CHORUNGA

me: ab aaya na tu track pe

mard ban mard

11:46 PM seene pe baal hain to usko prove kar

kau: agar sali call nahi bhi ki to hi-bye ke bahane khudcall karonga aur sala @^&#..KO AISA SUNAOONGA

aabe..tu kya MAZAK KE MOOD MEIN HAI?

me: nahin sale

kau: YE KYA LIKH RAHA HAI

me: tujhe tempo de raha hoon

tu bhi na

11:47 PM kau: ok..ok

me: woh nahin aayi aur tu chup chap sunta reh gaya

gadha!!

kau: NAHI SAALE yahoo messeger pe jitna bolna tha bola

me: kya bola tune?

kuchh bhi to nahin!

kau: ab to PHONE PE BOLLONGA

me: ladki ke samne shareef ban jata hai

kau: HMM..SHAYAD

me: kuchh nahin bol payega tu

11:48 PM kau: sala..chara maat

me: munh mein dahi jama ke baitha rahega- bandi ke aage teri aisi hi halat hoti hai

nahin to kya aarti utarun teri?

kau: hmm...nahi, kal to call karna hi karna hai..

USKI !@#$ KI TO

SERIOUSLY BE..

11:49 PM MAIN SALA KUCH ZYADA HI SARIF HOON

kaal to xsunake chorna hai

me: Bandi se main kuchh kahun ya tu handle karna pasand karega?

kau: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

DONNT DO THAT..

me: to tu bolega

agar main nahin to tu

kau: SHE WILL THINK I HAVE NO BACKBONE TO HANDLE MYSELF

me: soch le

sale woh tere paas bilkul nahin hai

kau: I WILL SPEAK TO HER FIRST..

11:50 PM %$#@!

me: theek hai

kau: !@#$, KYA BOL RAHA HAI

me: dekhte hain tere munh mein se phool jharte hain ki aag

abhi yahoo pe online hia

dikha de aaj

kau: THIK HAI..BANDI SE HI SUN LENA AFTER I BASH HER UP..

USI SE AB TAK BAAT HO RAHI THI..KAHA NA

11:51 PM me: okies, dekhte hain teri bahaduri- darpok!

kau: I KNOW SHE IS ONLINE

me: hmmmmm

theek hai

kau: WHATEVER

me: kal ka suraj batayega ki kya bol paya tu

11:52 PM chal koi ni

peace maar

kau: YAHOO KA QUOTA OVER ho chuka , PHONE PE BATIYANGE

me: kal movie dekh aur khushi se enjoy kar

11:53 PM kau: WAISE BHI YAHOO MEIN WO SALI..3 MIN BAAD REPLY MARTI HAI

me: abe woh thesis likhti hai

isiliye 3 min bad reply karti hai

kau: pata hai

sali ko REVIT tak nahi aata

sketch-up pe phatti hai

11:54 PM aur 3D max main main exprt hoon ya nahi poochti hai

*&^%

me: koi ni be

kau: khair..

chal main nikalta hoon

me: kya ghalat poochhti hia?

tu exp[ert nahin hai kya?

kau: sone jata hoon

me: chal be

sadma laga hoaga tujhe

kau: bahut gussa dimag gghooma deta hai

me: so le thoda

kau: bbye

GDNITE

11:55 PM me: good nite

kal movie enjoy kariyo

kriti ko saath le jana

bbye

This chat was followed by an ugly laughter from Ramu's side, and a silence of 17 minutes....

(to be continued)