Gud News, Bad News

Claim: Yeah, i want the title to sound like Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
Now to the topic.

Today's newspaper caught my eye-

Some primate Pan troglodytes aka Chimpanzee was found to use tool- a wooden spear for hunting.

Good News.

Some days back i read-

Samjhauta Express (a train running across two countries India and her beloved neighbouring country) bombed, and a lot of passengers, mostly pakistanis, died.
Bad News.

Now that i have these two news in my hand (of which, one is about Bush- i mean Bushbabies) and this gives me some ideas. I know, dead peoples and dead primates should not be made fun of, but can't help.

Idea 1:
Noone has yet taken any responsibility for samjhauta express bombing. Then who is the villain of this whodunit mystery? I have a few options: Joker, Raghavan Datta, or perhaps the chimps. What would the chimps be discussing? I'd try to reconstruct the scene:

The wife comes running and panting, with a long branch in her hand, excited and shouting:
"Hey honey, look! I invented a spear!! What do i do with it?....."
Hubby- "Stop poking me with it! Use it for whatever else it suits you!!"
Wifey- "Ummmm... i could use it for poking you... and caning the babies..... Hey, I have an idea!! Why not use it to kill Bushbabies? They'd be a swell game for this new tool- mean machine!"
Hubby, now thoroughly agitated, decides to move to some quieter place (like the railway lines) to get rid of this banter, gets up and movies in some perpendicular direction and quips "Yeah, Use it for Bush babies, and meanwhile I go and bomb mushy baby."

Idea 2:
It should be seen as opportunity, i mean the hunting. Uncle Sam can now sell few more guns, this time to Animal Kingdom, and train them to kill and sharpshoot Bushbabies.

Idea 3:
The world is irresponsible, to remind us this, Indian Railways says "Sawdhani hati, Durghatna ghati" (roughly translates to "alertness avoids accidents"). This means that Lashkar- E - Toiba (LET) and its other business rivals are innocent this time, in fact, they always were, as i was informed by hindi movies which depict terrorists as heroes with some scarred past.
Could it be a possibility that they could have left a bomb back in the train, by mistake? This would mean a very unprofessional conduct from him, as his casual nature resulted in so many casualties. It was a waste, in a manner, that the bomb could be used for more gratifying experiences, like killing some Prime Minister, or, bombing some big statue, like they effaced it from the mountains in Afghanistan, or even passing time by playing catch- catch with it.
Perhaps the bomber dude was not aware that billions of people in the world haven't even heard a blast, forget feeling a live bomb next to their skin. In an underpriviledged world like this (where the chimps are just using a stick, and calling them a spear in front of reporters), it was prodigal and extravagant on his part.