The Love Marriage

The top floor of B- Block, known as B- Top, was where Samy, the ever excited guy lived. Though the wingies didn't participate much in co- curriculars, but their extra curricular activities included chatting on some chat messenger, robotics, distributing their knowledge about the world, or, fooling each other by posing as "damsels in distress" in chat rooms, especially the last one. "The Enlightened one" of the wing was Siddharth or Sid, who would often emerge from his room, fixing his ever slipping spects, and then would call everyone out. Usually, things would start from movies, and then he would pick one issue on his sweet will. Often, this Gyan session would last a couple of hours, and then everyone would conclude it in the dining hall having some evening snacks.
That day, it was raining cats and dogs, and Sid, like always was broadcasting seeds of his fertile brain, with people listening to him. Suddenly, someone asked, "Where's Khujli?"
Khujli was the incessantly itching guy of the wing. The legend said that his favourite pastime was that he was seen itching at any given time T. If not itchy himself, he'd itch his neighbor. Once the guest speaker in architecture department showed in a slide how the dampness spoiled the plaster of the column, and someone shouted, "Looks like a misdeed of Khujli!" and everyone in the row next and before burst out laughing. This day, Taklu was missing Khujli's presence.
It was impossible for Sid to not know where Khujli was. He pushed the bridge of his slipping spects and said in a know- it- all tone, "Do you guys wanna know where he is?"
Samy, the short, ever jumping guy said, "Ab batayega!" (meaning: cut it dude, lay it on me). Sid, clearing his throat announced, "When i was coming from institute, I saw him in Harry's, feeding rasgullas to his sister Padmini".
Padmini was a girl who studied in Samy's batch. Khujli and Padmini met in IIT, and soon a brotherly- sisterly bond developed between them, was what Khujli's wingies knew it from him. So now that Sid had seen him feeding Rasgullas to Padmini, the whole of the wing roared into laughter, with Samy taking a full fledged lead in it. It was snacks time, and these guys, started towards dining hall, saving themselves from the splashes of rainwater coming in the corridor.

That night, Samy's sleep was rudely disturbed by a loud bang on his door. Someone had apparently kicked on his door. It was Khujli, who was back and he was furious.
Samy opened the door. Khujli thundered, "Rascal! You joked about me and Padmini!!"
Samy replied, almost awake by now, "It wasn't me! It was Sid..."
"It was you, Taklu told me!"
"I'm telling you now, it was Sid, go and talk to him" and Samy went back to sleep.
"Sid, come out! How dare you speak such nonsense about me and Padmini?" roared Khujli, a bit annoyed at his first miss of his thunder bolt.
Sid wasn't in the mood of opening the door, he said from inside, "It was Samy!"
Samy heard it. "Scoundrel!", he thought.
Bang! Khujli was kicking Samy's door, and Samy shouted in reply, "Ask if Sid wasn't the guy who told us about the masala story of you feeding rasgullas to Padmini!!".
Khujli kept on banging the doors of Sid and Samy, and they kept on passing the buck to each other. Soon, annoyance gave way to frustration (which was the default behaviour of dwellers of Institute of Indian Technology). Khujli could not avenge for the story which some scoundrel leaked. It was true that he was feeding rasgulla to Padmini, but didn't he ever told these crass creatures that she had tied him a rakhi, and fed him rasgulla then? In anger and frustration, he declared that his wingies were being cheap, and that Padmini was his sister.

Venting your anger often leads to sadness. That's what happened to Khujli. He was saddened by the sorry thinking of these jerks who never gave a thought to their banters, and he retired in his room.
For the next fortnight, he didn't talk to his wingies.
Time heals. Soon, they all filled up the gap, and he started to mix with them, and everything else was back on routine.

Five years later, Samy called me up. His ever excited voice told me "Do you know, Khujli is getting married?". "With whom?", I asked, with an anticipation mounting. "Guess?", he said.
A brief silence, and after that, we both burst out laughing.

Samy continued, "Taklu commented on the group, with just one line- Kya zamana aa gaya hai!" (English: Times have changed!). We both laughed.
I said, "History repeats!"
He said, "Means?"
"Don't you remember people with similar names- Padmini of Chittor, and Khilji, the sultan of Delhi?" I replied, and we both burst into fits of laughter.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Glossary:
Harry's: A small eatery which was near to Tata Sports Complex, our favourite pastime joint.
Taklu: A happy go lucky bald guy.
Samy: A genius in disguise, to whom this author is thankful for the inputs.
Sid: the know it all of the wing "B- Top".
rasgulla: an Indian sweet made of cottage cheese, the sweetness of which got added to this memoir.

The Truth

Rakesh, or anyone would never know what the truth may be. It might be that his guesses [and the (wrong) guesses about the character] would be correct upto a pin point, or, it is highly unlikely that Ambuj must have turned so violent, or it may be that we all are in a Matrix, to begin with, with Ambuj in his capsule sleeping several miles away from me.

Ambuj was a simple day to day architecture student, carrying such big T-squares, like Rambo's sword on his back, and eyeing other girls in the professor's class, which by any standard provided him better entertainment than the lectures, which he anyway could not listen to- not due the substandard content delivery, but the content acceptance device malfunctioning.

We all felt we all knew he had a problem in his left ear. He would often nod vigorously if someone came to him, and muttered something feebly about the professor being a dimwit, and he would somehow stretch his audio capabilities to extract the information about the professor's name, and the word synonymous to dimwit, say Idiot. As a next step, he would often shout loud professor's name, and idoit simultaneously, so that the original speaker would wish somehow a bush would grow and he could hide himself there, when the prof would turn back and see Ambuj still trying to make out the correct meaning from these two words. Rakesh always sensed something was wrong in that part of Ambuj's brain where he had no circuitry developed dedicated to audio functions. He narrated it to me once- You know what happened! Ambuj kept his mobile facedown, and was chatting with me, and suddenly a truck honked somewhere far off, and he jumped and grabbed his phone shouting "wait! my cell is ringing!".

Recently, Ambuj had been trying to increase his optical power from 5 to 6 so that he could undergo some "Leejig" operation.

Having established the premises of my experiment, I decided once, on an Architectural Tour, in december, that I would try to test his logical skills as well, in my very subtle way, and this story revolves around that pivot.

That fateful day, we all went to study the design of Rajmahal theatre in Jaipur, and it was a grand theatre, with stairs running from both the sides, and every inch squared of the floor carpetted (i profess, i do not remember more than this about the architectural details there). The movie which we were seeing [so as to understand the architecture better] was a typical bad indian flick. Ambuj was sitting on the right side of me, paying his every bit of attention to the dramatic sequences unfolding, that hero was ailing from cancer, with his doctor being misinterpreted as his wife by the heroine. On my left side was sitting a junior of mine, let's call him Ramesh for name's sake. Sitting between these two guys, I was forced to enjoy the movie though I had undergone the torture the last week in Chandigarh's Piccadelli Theatre.

Out of blue, Ramesh passed a drawing book, which contained the horrible sketches Ambuj had, and asked me to pass it to Ambuj. This was a perfect opportunity to administer the experiment, with Ambuj as a lab chimpanzee, and observe how Ambuj would react, given that he was engrossed in some extravagant flow of emotions, with his left (faulty) microphone towards me. So, I told him to pass the notebook to Ambuj, deliberately using his own name, than simply shoving that notebook in his lap.

Usually, animals have a sense of self, which in some cases they assosiate it partially with their names, I guess this might be a reason, why people respond when we call their names, but as infants, we were never formally told what our names were, we just started to follow it somehow.

With all his remaining faculties channelised towards the silver screen, Ambuj took his own drawing book, and passed it on to his right, without any instructions, and the notebook kept on travelling till the far end, where Hasita noticed that it was Ambuj, her apparent suitor, whom she ignored, was the owner of his notebook. With Hasita's voice calling his name, Ambuj suddenly woke up from his trance, where may be he was the hero, going for the sacrifice for the country. He quickly realised his mistake, and shouted at me- why didn't you pass it to me? I replied- I passed it to you, with instructions to pass it on to yourself, why didn't you pay attention to me? In case you want to talk, talk to Ramesh. Now, finding a good reason, Ambuj almost verbally pounced on Ramesh, calling his names, and how he hailed from one of the worst places in Bihar, and what else can he do by bringing all the guns he had in his house, which his grand fathers used. Ramesh was quick to return the sentiments. Having no such history, he claimed that he knew how to make bombs and how he wouldn't hesitate to drop one on Ambuj's head, and given a chance, would certainly drop one on his native country.

With these two Biharis sitting besides me, flexing their muscles, I was having my own share of fun imagining the not- so- braveheart, thickly bespectacled Ambuj, fighting Ramesh, firing guns as big as him, and rusted to the core, with their wooden butts hollowed by termites, and Ramesh, with his pallid self hurling a granade, with swearings mutually returned. All of a sudden, with a tight slap, i came back to the reality.

Ambuj, in the semi- darkness, tried to hit his perpetrator who was keeping him from watching the film, and ended up slapping me. From a third person view, it was a mislanded slap, sending shivers to Ramesh, who found it worthwhile to flee from the scene.

It was not a long day afterwards: Rakesh suspects that it was another of my mischieveous plans to frame a poor harmless soul, like I did to butterflies, squirrels and other dogs and bitches whom I would lure with a bread and then shoo them away to derive a sadist pleasure. Another guy Swapnil, who all the way was sitting in the room, embellishing the whole scene with his guitar, and hiss- chik hiss- chik sound of drumming, as he produced from his mouth, made a mystery out of it, about whether Ambuj slapped me, as I claimed, or not, with his supposition that I was barking up the wrong tree. I spent the whole night shouting, swearing and fighting with Ambuj, and he, crouching in a corner, smiling obnoxiously.

Post Script: Recently while going to Tirupati temples, Ambuj accepted that he slapped me, as if it made some difference to me. But he was soon to deny of any such thing in the return journey. It was Rakesh's younger sister Alka, whose justification I'd find worth mentioning: "I guess he was going to the almighty, so he didn't want to lie, but while returning, he was in his own good harmless self again!".

Disclaimer: Every soul mentioned here is a figment of imagination of the semi- lunatic author. Even if they are real, it is highly doubtful, like the slap which the author received.

Pressing need

In the jungles of gangatic planes lived a donkey, who was quite happy to have landed a job under a washerman's kind guidance. The job however required him to be posted to some jungle down south where there was no river, and the place was all new to him. He was new to the place and in his leisure, he would roll on the grass and wonder all sorts of philosophical things. Some of the things would be strange, while some would be crazy, and between these thoughts, a thought would lurk that he was growing older every passing day. There was nothing new in getting older, even the washerman too was growing older, and so was every other soul- no one grew younger in this world (except the curious case of Benjamin "Braid Pitt" Button). So our hero, the Donkey, realised that as the world grew older, the tend to rely more on the memories they accumulate, which is also known as memory, and less of their common sense.
This world was different from what he had left behind. There, everyone would be too happy to help him, and everything seemed like Alice in Wonderland, but here his solitude seemed to grow more on him. A respite was that he had to do all the chores of den by himself. This would take up some lonely time of his and he would be saved from the dreaded silence of his den. It could also be the hormones at the nubile age which made him feel that illusive silence, may be there was no silence at all!
This tomcat lived next him, and they knew each other from his previous life, when he was chased in the same jungle by a dog, and successfully eluded him, just to be squashed by the passing elephant who could not see it. These old buddies would sit somewhere at the end of the day, on a cliff, seeing the red ball going down, and the tomcat would often tell how the world treat the jennies. "It is either about the brains, or the beauty- nothing about memory. Do you think people would have acknowledged an elephant, had he got no size?". The idea was quite fascinating. People would see the jennies who lived next door admiringly, and donkey would think they were no better than his goldfish, which got fed and reared because it was beautiful. In those circumstances, donkey would wonder what good would the brain be, if there were less of memory? Could everything in this world be derived out of it, even most of the things which memory did?
This was the first office day, and Donkey had finished washing his allotted clothes, and the question was- how to get the clothes pressed, which he never had to do back in the jungles of Kgp? He wasn't interested in ironing them. It was too much of a work for his languid self. He remembered that there was a small bazaar behind his dwelling, where he could probably find a press wala. So hopeful that he would be saved from a lot of work, the donkey took his clothes, and started off to the bazaar. There he could find someone to outsource this work to.
In the bazaar, he found one of the shops was decorated with pitchers of egg plants. The egg plants were donkey's staple diet, so he felt a bit inclined to outsource the work to that animal, who was sitting there, ironing a mountain of clothes. That animal gave him an appointment of next day to take the ironed clothes. The donkey went away happily, wagging his tail.
Donkey forgot he had to collect the clothes, and he remembered it after a week. The deadline was not an issue, so he went to the eggplant shop and saw a Tasmanian Devil sitting there. Well, he didn't remember which animal he talked to last week, and as if it bothered him! He was more interested in the egg plants than the Tasmanian Devil.
Today the Tasmanian Devil looked younger. Donkey cleared his throat and reminded the young devil that he needed the clothes, and it was urgent. The devil junior sweeped his eyes and saw this irritating creature who just appeared from nowhere and was demanding his clothes back. The li'l devil tried to search for his clothes but couldn't find it. However, it was delaying his work. So he said, "You go today, bring tomorrow 5 morning". Donkey tried to explain him, "i don't bring clothes, you bring my clothes!". Devil - "my daddy bring tomorrow 5, you too bring tomorrow 5 morning, daddy give you clothes".
"Ah, so he wants to keep my clothes for another day! must have given those clothes on rent", thought donkey. He banged his hooves on the table and demanded that his clothes be given to him now.
"Ayyo! Sir, bring tomorrow, daddy too bring tomorrow, go now!".
"But i have a pressing need, i want those clothes now!!"
"Go away sir! bring tomorrow, daddy bring tomorrow also.. GO, sir!"
Donkey left the shop feeling humiliated.
Next morning, he came at 8 to the shop. He found that Daddy Devil was at the shop. the same question, and the same reply!
Suddenly the Tasmanian Devil Senior said, "there is another shop who does the ironing job, is it possible that you might have given your clothes there?"
Donkey was confused. He looked at those egg plants. They looked beautiful. Tasmanian Devil said "I think you should ask Javelina, the owner of the shop."
Donkey went to the shop and when the Javelina saw him, he readily recognised the bundle of clothes lying neatly creased in a corner.
It was then the donkey noticed, that shop too had egg plants decorated!

noname.cpp - part 2 of 2: To C it from a diffrent view

6 years have passed since the happiness lasted, sans the C language. I don't miss C at all, to think of it, C is not needed in what I do- the language is excruciating, I believe.

After 6 years, i was supposed to be in MS, but due to some funny reason, i was not, in fact, i was neither in MS, nor out of it, so I was made the TA in Programming and Data Structure (PDS) course. I had a small group of students to deal with, their lab tests, answer scripts and all the routine things.

She was a silent girl in the class, so i did not pay much attention to what she had to say about C. The girl never complained anything about the marks, nor about the assignment, as I used to be in my first year- aloof.

Time: 1500 Hrs

The end sems were nearing and in the regular lab, i was resolving someone's doubt, when i saw she raised her hand to ask some question. I saw the professor go to her..... The professor should know about how his subjects are doing.

Time: 1530 Hrs

The prof is still explaining things to her, and she is nodding her head, as if it were connected to her body by spring. I am attending this guy who is having trouble understanding the question

Time: 1600 Hrs:

I'm solving this girl's problem who is debating with me about something which she felt was correct. The professor is now himself coding, and the girl seems to be taking an active interest (the way she was looking at the monitor, trying to read the broken english of C, with all the unexpected brackets and semi- colon, which make it a bestial language, was too good).

Time: 1630 Hrs:

I was done solving the doubts, and was hearing to stories of a TA, when this prof came from behind the pillar. "Nimesh!", he called me. "She doesn't know anything about C!", said the prof in a very worried tone, as if it was he who had to give the exam! The prof was a very good man, worried about the well being of this soul... I replied "Yes Sir! why, i'd talk to her right now." I went to her. "You!" I pointed my finger to her, standing in front of her desk, looking sharply into her eyes, "You will meet me after class." She looked at me, with a fright -mixed-with-laid back- look, said "Yes sir!". After the class,i said to her "I'm noticing that your performance is consistently poor, and unless you put in some hard labor, you'd be in a soup. What do you have to say about it? Koi load to nahin hai? (translates to: any problems with this subject?)" She said in the same tone "No Sir!". "So you'd be coming to my lab to study till your end sems, is it all right?" I asked in an authoritative tone, and she could not refuse.

The week coming was going to be nothing short of a challenge to me, confronting C, the hidden fear. This girl turned up the next day, with one of her classmates, as she too was having a lot of problems in the same. So i started with them, a baby step at a time- C made easy by a dummy.

The week was nothing short of a test for me- a lots of stories about C, a solid punch for making silly errors, rewarding for a good thinking and finally, understanding the mind of a student, which i were a few months back. I realised teaching was not just about delivering the knowledge, it was also about making the whole subject interesting and leaving good impression on young minds, so rather than developing an aversion to the subject for the rest of their lives, they enjoy the experience. I was trying my level best to cock up new stories about C to explain the fundamentals in a simple, friendly and a dignified way. Time passed, and with the end of a week, both of them caught up to the essence of C. By the end of second week, i could teach them advanced topics in data structures.

Shilpa, though could not turn up for the last 2 days, which i learnt was because she had to mug up mechanics the last night before the Mech end sem! However, since the basic of C was already covered, and advanced topics could be derived from there, so i didn't have to worry about her. The other girl Shalu continued till the end sems.

In the end sems, i saw the grade sheets, Shalu had secured an A while Shilpa had secured a D, still better than me, who secured a mere P (a just passed grade), saving my tail with it.

It is how i encountered my fear for C, and returned the gift Raka once gave me, and my prof PK enriched with his inputs. I believe, we must return twice of whatever good we got to the needy, this is the best way to repay it, and i guess i did it.

Dedicated to Kau: part 3 of 3: The Conclusion

After 17 minutes of ugly laughing, Ramu was glad to find Kau online...

12:17 AM me: tu gaya nahin sone?

12:18 AM ek baat soojhi hai

kau: suna ke jana tha na

SUNA DIYA

me: kya sunaya bata

forward kar

kau: RUK,,

12:20 AM waise yeh OFICE KA KAUN SA SUBMISSION kal hai?
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:00:14 AM): PRESENTATION DRWG
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:00:42 AM): and u went aware that he submission was tomorrow?
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:01:37 AM): weren't
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:04:03 AM): NOT REALLY
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:04:28 AM): GOT TTHE WRK TODAY
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:04:33 AM): NOT REALLLY?..thst vague..
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:04:40 AM): u either knew it or u dint
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:04:45 AM): oooooooo
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:05:44 AM): khair...11th hr work to college mein chalta hai, yahan OFFICE MEIN BHI HOTA HAI,..bhagwan rakhsa kare,,,
Koushik Choudhury (6/2/2007 12:08:02 AM): Khair, tum kaam karo...haan,ek suggestion, agar kisi aur din KABHI eise DITCH MARNA hoo (kisi ko bhi..) to KINDLY OFFICE phone se ya phone booth se atleast ek call kar dena. ..RS 1 mein ho jaega.max RS 2
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:08:26 AM): K
dabba bandi (6/2/2007 12:08:34 AM): BYEEEEEEEE (orgasm unlimited)

me: sun, idea hai mera

agar koi na mile to ticket black kar diyo

peace rahega

12:21 AM kau: abbe dekha ke nahi

me: padhne de

kau: aare ticket ka load nahi

me: to fir koi load nahin!

peace maar aur so ja

kau: KRITI nahi to SHONA aa hi jayegi

me: aaj ka din bada bura beeta hai tera

badhiya hai

shona ko le jana

kau: padh liya?

12:22 AM me: nahin baap!

kau: kini slow speed se apdta hai tu bhi

me: tera msg aa jata hai

aur screen scroll ho jati hai

ruk type karna band kar!

12:23 AM arre baap re baaap!!!

tune to crack maar liya be!

bandi ko sure bura lagega

kau: aabe seriously bata

12:24 AM sahi SARCASM ka doze tha na

me: haan

kau: ki zyada ho gaya?

me: lekin usne yeh theek nahin kiya, poochh kya?

kau: kya?

me: usne tujhe sorry bhi nahin kaha!

how come??

this was not expected

12:25 AM kau: AARE..sorry bahut baar boli..

ruk

me: to tune apni bahaduri wala part kaat ke bheja tha kya?

uski sorry wala bhi bhej

12:26 AM kau: dabba bandi (6/1/2007 10:59:52 PM): hey
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 10:59:55 PM): how r u?
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:00 PM): hey..
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:20 PM): am fine. so,, whats up?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:32 PM): nothg
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:34 PM): wrking
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:35 PM): hey
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:00:41 PM): prob cnt mak it tomorrow
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:52 PM): shittttttttttt (for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:00:58 PM): seriously?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:01:07 PM): have a submission tomorrow for my new office
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:01:10 PM): yeahhhhhhhh (for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:01:18 PM): iam trying to complete within mrng
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:01:20 PM): and u dint inform me earlier yaar
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:01:43 PM): hmm...what can i say..
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:05 PM): well, ok..u concentrate on that then..
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:16 PM): sorry
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:22 PM): dint u know abt this earlier?..or a sudden dealine?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:22 PM): cm bk home at 10 pm
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:27 PM): from office
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:31 PM): sudden deadline
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:36 PM): oooohh (for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:42 PM): got this freelance job today mrng
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:02:51 PM): my outgoing s also barred
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:02:55 PM): CONGRATULATIONS for that
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:03:20 PM): hmm..its ok...guess, i have to try and sell the other ticket then
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:03:37 PM): am sorry
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:03:39 PM): really
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:03:47 PM): will be making dfor it soon
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:03:58 PM): dfor?
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:04:13 PM): whhts that?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:06:21 PM): for it
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:08:47 PM): hey, its ok..its just that i got to know now na, otherwise if it wr in the evening today i cud have asked my frnds to change any plans they had
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:09:52 PM): SORRY
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:09:54 PM): REALLY
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:10:07 PM): no issues yaar..
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:10:16 PM): u r thesis is more important
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:10:38 PM): guess, u must b hard pressed 4 time rite now
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:11:01 PM): u go ahead,,will catch up with u when u r thru the submission
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:11:04 PM): little bit
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:11:12 PM): trying to earn also amidst this
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:13:04 PM): thats indeed a worthwhile thing to do..honestly, how u mange the TUTIONS, the tHESIS, nad now the office, i am hard pressed to imagine
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:13:29 PM): and yes..NOT TO FORGET ur 32 yr wala BEAU, amidst all this
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:13:31 PM): earning
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:13:34 PM):
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:13:37 PM): ufffffffffffffffffffff (again, for extra pleasure read this in orgasmic manner)
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:14:09 PM): ha ha ha ...c , atleast now u know am not angry or nething
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:14:22 PM): but yes..DAMN HEART BROKEN...ab kya kahen..
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:14:41 PM):
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:15:07 PM): well, u will have to pay back with interest my frnd for this
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:15:35 PM): is baar to sirf EK movie fir chutti ka plan kiya tha...
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:16:12 PM): ab INTEREST ke taur par bakayda ..jis weekend free hogi tab milna hoga
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:16:41 PM): DEKHA bachhu..IIT ians never make a LOOSING DEAL
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:17:11 PM): HAAR mein bhi JEET nikal hi latein hain
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:17:24 PM): K
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:56:09 PM): STILL SIFTING thru OR FOUND THE RELEVANT INFO?
dabba bandi (6/1/2007 11:56:28 PM): DESIGNING
Koushik Choudhury (6/1/2007 11:59:13 PM): aah..wasnt that done..guess, after ditching me, u have ample time tomorrow to finsh it off

after 6 minutes

12:32 AM me: sale tune next date ka plan banaya hai, aur hamare samne rona ro raha hai

sale tu bandi ke samne hero banna kyun shuru kar deta hai?

12:33 AM kau: pata nahi yaar

me: kya pata nahin!

kau: aabe main mauke ka fayda uthana bhi chah raha tha aur gussa bhi aa raha tha

12:34 AM salle ...TUNE MUJHE CHARA DIYA

TO FULTO GUSSA AA GAYA

AUR ZYADA HI SARCASTIC HO GAYA

me: haan be, tu hi to ek hoshiyar hai

kau: AUR TU TO JANTA HAI....AM THE SARCASM GOD

me: fayda utha rahe the!!

ab tere sarcasm ke karan woh kabhi nahin jayegi tere saath

12:35 AM tere date ke mansoobe dhool mein lot rahe hain

jaise sawan mein gadha loTta hai

abe tu future date ko leke serious hai kya?

kau: AABE USKE SATH MERA KOI FUTURE HI NAHI TO KYA SOCHNA

12:36 AM me: sale abhi to tune date ki baat ki

woh kya tha fir?

kau: WAISE BHI 1-2 MAHINE MAIN JOB SHIFT MARNA HAI

me: IITIAN wala dialogue?

kau: SO..IN SAB MEIN JANA NOT FEASIBLE NOW

SAB SUNANE KE LIYE

MAINE KAHA NA

MAINE USE SUNA DIYA

12:37 AM jaan boojh ke kaha tha

me: tune agar future mein Date ka socha hai to bhool ja

aur agar sunana chahta tha to future date ka mention bhi nahin karna tha

kau: NAHIN..I DON'T AGREE WITH U ON THIS

MY TACTICS R BIT DIFFERENT

me: different but they have loop hole

12:38 AM bandi ko hansne ka thoda time mil gaya

kau: NAAAH

TU GALAT CONCLUSION NIKAL RAHA HAI

12:39 AM TRUST ME..I WAS BAD ONE DAY...JUST ONE DAY..donnt draw ur conclusions based on that..I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

me: theek hai

dekhte hian kal

kau: neways..good suggestions u gave

me: agar bandi maan gayi jane ke liye to hum tujhe maan jayenge

kau: liked ur perspective as well

me: thnx! be

12:40 AM kau: CHALO..ABB NEED ACHI AAYEGI

DIL HALKA HO GAYA:)

me: haan be

neend mast aayegi

kau: chal..gudnite ..dear

me: sweet dreams

guud nite

kau: :)

me: sleep tight

me: don't let the bugs bite

12:41 AM

kau: ooooooooohhhh k

me: chal all the best!

Dedicated to Kau: Part 2 of 3: Ek Chhoti si Love Story

Ramu had a best enemy [like the highest order animals have best pals] known as Kau. He was a mean machine, but he also had a golden heart, it depended solely on his mood if he was in a golden mood or not...

Ramu wanted to get exported to America, like other animals of his IITian breed. One way was to deport himself in the cage of smuggled baboons, while the other way out was via giving a moronic exam which promised to satisfy the various GREeds of knowledge, money, position, power and fortune of most "aliens" [this is what international highest order biped animals are termed in the United States]. Ramu being an underpriviledged malnutritioned animal did not have a credit card to pay the sum the GRE people demanded. Kau readily accepted to pay the sum and it was the time when Ramu wanted to pay back what he borrowed from Kau. They were to meet at some place in Kolkata, let's call that place Witty Center. Kau was in a bad mood, as usual. From 5:20 in the evening, he started calling Ramu every 5 minutes, snarling that why in the world was he late, as he had to reach Witty Center by 6:30, and Kau will have to miss the bus to his home, he feared. Ramu was seriously agitated, but he could not lock horns with Kau, as he was travelling towards the venue with the Bandi. Keeping his boiling lava inside him, he pacified Kau. However, on reaching the pre- decided spot, Kau was nowhere to be seen.
Ramu on phone 6:30 PM: "Kahan hai tu?"
Kau on Phone: "Office mein, gimme 5 minutes, will be there"
Ramu never knew if 360 seconds made a minute or something like that. Kau appeared at the spot after what seemed like an aeon.
Kau looked in his Best, with a skin tight XXL T- Shirt clinging to his geodesic potbelly, and hair nicely done, he donned the look of a perfect gentleman. Ramu was surprised at the new look of his best enemy.
Kau took both Ramu and Bandi [he could not leave Ramu behind, at least this is what etiquettes said] and treated them with coffees of their choice, the bill solely paid by Kau. In his golden mood, Kau was likable (at least, you should like the person who pays the bill for your costly coffee treat!). Kau was trying to impress the girl with his etiquettes, while Ramu was busy relishing his share (and Kau's share) of cold coffee. Kau was pleading "I'm so ssssssorry, it's because of him that i did not get the time to ggggroom myself.... i hope u don't mind my look. Gimme one more chance and i can present myself in my best. Please don't mmmmind"
This sentence was repeated in many different ways and said in many different human languages. Ramu was looking out of the bus window now as he had no interest in the gossip the grown ups do. Girl was busy filling in the Survey like questions of Kau, and Kau's curiosity kept him popping more doubts, and the bus was stuffy, and Ramu was happy that his money was not wasted on a waste like coffee [which he enjoys on others' cost].

The girl wanted to go to some friend's home, and Kau was eager to drop her their, despite of him getting late for his abode. The girl, however, parted and so did Ramu, leaving Kau in a cool emotional surge...

Ramu later learned that Kau and the lady were planning to go to the movie The Pirates of Caribbean. It was a night before the d'day that a chat took place between the two.

11:31 PM kau: sala

!@#$

me: kya hua?

kau: kahan hai

11:32 PM me: kahe ro raha hai

kau: aabe yeh teri bandi..kya SERIOUSLY dabba HAI?

me: kya hua?

kya kia tum dono ne?

be right back

11:33 PM ab rona shuru kar wapas. am back

11:34 PM kau: kya hua...sun..gajab dhakkan bandi hai..aare, movie ke liye khud 3 din pehel haan boli thi jab poocha to...ticket kharidne ke liye boli advance, with MADAM ji ka prefered timing..aur kal raat tak haan haan hami bharti rahi..

and GUESS WHAT..

11:35 PM aaj morning ko call kiya to uthayi nahi

abhi 5 MIN pehele yahoo mein bolti hai..ki kal koi SUBMISSSION hai uske office mein it seems

so cannt come

WHAT THE HECK YAAR...

11:36 PM PIRATES ka ticket i had to book thru credit card..

me: :(

ohhh

kau: 220 bucks

pani mein

me: she is so unprofessional

this is bad

kau: i even ditched KRITI

AND GUESS WHAT

me: kya?

11:37 PM abe kriti ko le jana fir

kau: KRITI WAS THE ONE ON WHOSE CREDIT CARD I BOOKED IT, ..i was supposed to go with him for PIRATES COZ HE HAD ASKED ME WAY EARLIER

me: kal pakad le

kau: I CHANGED MY PLANS ON WEDNESDAY coz of your Bandi

and now, this..

me: ohhhhh, yeh to kela ho gaya tera

11:38 PM kau: aare.KRITI ke apne plans nahi kya..just think how cheap i wud appear to KRITI if i asked him now

me: this is bad yaar

saturday ko kahin submission hota hai bhala

kau: and GUESS WHAT

KRITI was so generous engh..he gave me his CREDIT CARD (coz the card has to b shown at the counter 4 confirmation..)

11:39 PM SERIOUSLY..this is way way unprofessional

me: tch tch tch

usse baat kar

kau: AND WAY TOO CHILDISH

me: phone pe

hana yaar, yeh childish thode hi hai

it is bad

kau: AGR submission HAI TO SHE MUST HAVE KNOIWN IT EARLIER NA

me: tu usse baat kar ke bol clearly ki aisa nahin karna chahiye tha

11:40 PM agar nahin jana tha to pahle bol deti

kau: forgrt it...

me: u had to bow before kriti for his credit card

kau: I CALLED up her in the evening she hadnt picked it up

atleast she shud have had the courtesy to call back

me: haan yaar

kau: she ssays ..her BALANCE wasnt there

me: tujhe load hua hai, main samajh sakta hoon

11:41 PM kau: AND GUESS WHAT

she has a POST PAID na?

me: landline to hai hi uske paas

kau: AABE..load nahi..i feel humiliated

me: haan main samajh sakta hoon

kau: NOT ONLY BECOZ OF HER..BUT BECOZ i now have to ask some collegue or kriti TO COME ALONG

neways...

11:42 PM me: bandi ko bolna ki tujhe kitni sharmindgi jhelni padi

kau: ACHA..DONNT MENTION A WORD OF THIS RETORT OF MINE TO HER

me: nahin re

kyun bolunga

kau: IF SHE HAS SENSE..she will call up

me: haan

she should call u up

kau: YAHOO pe rto lecture de rahi thi ki..SHE WILL make up or something

dekhte hain

me: shud i ask her to call u up?

11:43 PM make up matlab?> make up kar ke aayegi?

kau: aare..CHODO.infact, i rather played the whole issue down..as if her not comming wasnt of much consequence

that shud suit her

guess, she values her importance way too much or something

whatever

me: arre usko yeh to bola hota ki uske karan tujhe kitna zaleel hona pada

11:44 PM kau: HAAN WO TO BOL HI DIYA

me: kahan bola tune?

kau: aur agar call kari..ya agle baar phone pe baat hua to AIS ASUNAOONGA

me: tune to yeh show kiya ki tujhe fark nahin pada

kau: bola..ki SHE SHUD HAVE INFORMED ME BY EVENING..

AT LEAST WHEN I CALLED HER UP

11:45 PM me: kau

tu usse badla le

usse ticket khareedwa

aur mat ja

kau: CHODENGE TO NAHI

me: ekdum tit for tat badla hai

yes

kau: jo bhi ho...SUNA KE TO CHORUNGA

me: ab aaya na tu track pe

mard ban mard

11:46 PM seene pe baal hain to usko prove kar

kau: agar sali call nahi bhi ki to hi-bye ke bahane khudcall karonga aur sala @^&#..KO AISA SUNAOONGA

aabe..tu kya MAZAK KE MOOD MEIN HAI?

me: nahin sale

kau: YE KYA LIKH RAHA HAI

me: tujhe tempo de raha hoon

tu bhi na

11:47 PM kau: ok..ok

me: woh nahin aayi aur tu chup chap sunta reh gaya

gadha!!

kau: NAHI SAALE yahoo messeger pe jitna bolna tha bola

me: kya bola tune?

kuchh bhi to nahin!

kau: ab to PHONE PE BOLLONGA

me: ladki ke samne shareef ban jata hai

kau: HMM..SHAYAD

me: kuchh nahin bol payega tu

11:48 PM kau: sala..chara maat

me: munh mein dahi jama ke baitha rahega- bandi ke aage teri aisi hi halat hoti hai

nahin to kya aarti utarun teri?

kau: hmm...nahi, kal to call karna hi karna hai..

USKI !@#$ KI TO

SERIOUSLY BE..

11:49 PM MAIN SALA KUCH ZYADA HI SARIF HOON

kaal to xsunake chorna hai

me: Bandi se main kuchh kahun ya tu handle karna pasand karega?

kau: NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

DONNT DO THAT..

me: to tu bolega

agar main nahin to tu

kau: SHE WILL THINK I HAVE NO BACKBONE TO HANDLE MYSELF

me: soch le

sale woh tere paas bilkul nahin hai

kau: I WILL SPEAK TO HER FIRST..

11:50 PM %$#@!

me: theek hai

kau: !@#$, KYA BOL RAHA HAI

me: dekhte hain tere munh mein se phool jharte hain ki aag

abhi yahoo pe online hia

dikha de aaj

kau: THIK HAI..BANDI SE HI SUN LENA AFTER I BASH HER UP..

USI SE AB TAK BAAT HO RAHI THI..KAHA NA

11:51 PM me: okies, dekhte hain teri bahaduri- darpok!

kau: I KNOW SHE IS ONLINE

me: hmmmmm

theek hai

kau: WHATEVER

me: kal ka suraj batayega ki kya bol paya tu

11:52 PM chal koi ni

peace maar

kau: YAHOO KA QUOTA OVER ho chuka , PHONE PE BATIYANGE

me: kal movie dekh aur khushi se enjoy kar

11:53 PM kau: WAISE BHI YAHOO MEIN WO SALI..3 MIN BAAD REPLY MARTI HAI

me: abe woh thesis likhti hai

isiliye 3 min bad reply karti hai

kau: pata hai

sali ko REVIT tak nahi aata

sketch-up pe phatti hai

11:54 PM aur 3D max main main exprt hoon ya nahi poochti hai

*&^%

me: koi ni be

kau: khair..

chal main nikalta hoon

me: kya ghalat poochhti hia?

tu exp[ert nahin hai kya?

kau: sone jata hoon

me: chal be

sadma laga hoaga tujhe

kau: bahut gussa dimag gghooma deta hai

me: so le thoda

kau: bbye

GDNITE

11:55 PM me: good nite

kal movie enjoy kariyo

kriti ko saath le jana

bbye

This chat was followed by an ugly laughter from Ramu's side, and a silence of 17 minutes....

(to be continued)